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__**BRIAN PEPPER'S MAGICAL ADVENTURE**__


 * Chapter 1**: Nobody Expects the Spanish Inquisition

The summer after his Junior year of college Brian Peppers participated in an Education Abroad program in Morelia, Mexico. He had taken four years of Spanish in high school and had taken a "refresher" class the summer prior to his trip. Even with all of his schooling, speaking Spanish 24x7 was a scary thought. More than that, he had never lived more than an hour from his parents and Mexico was definitely beyond that! It took him three years to gather the courage to apply for the program, but he knew it was the only way to obtain his goal of fluency.

When Brian arrived in Morelia he met the other American students enrolled in the program and was assigned to a local family. His Mexican family consisted of a mother, daughter, and son. They were very kind and patient with him as my language skills improved. Brian attended four classes, four days a week, for three months. Classes included Mexican history, Mexican literature, Mexican culture, and grammar. The professors spoke only Spanish and they wrote three essays a week! One professor had a deep bellowing voice that echoed off the classroom walls. He also spoke at a very quick pace. In the first weeks of school he had trouble understanding this teacher in particular. The program was incredibly challenging and rewarding at the same time.

By the end of the program Brian had become fluent in Spanish and could even understand his bellowing professor. He had become very close with his Mexican family and had made some lasting friendships. One of his biggest gains was an increased self-confidence. He now knows that he can accomplish his dreams //on his own//.


 * Chapter 2:** Brian Peppers Understands True Love

For Brian Peppers, true love was truely difficult to know in its truest aspects. However, Brian knew he wasn't a homosexual and actually was in love with a girl his own age because he could hold a conversation for more than ten minutes without losing interest in what his lover is talking about. He was able to talk to her about anything, and he felt safe with her protecting him. He could stand up for her beliefs, and would take care of her at any cost that didn't involve him becoming bankrupt. Most importantly, he could be himself and have a good time with his lover.

One summer day Brian Pepper was hanging out with some of his friends just being reckless and a little mischevious, but it just so happened that there was a girl that kept watching Brian, so he thought to himself..."Just act cool and show-off some."

Some how Brian managed to ask her out right before she had to go home that night, so she gave him her phone number and told him to come over the next day. Brian and his friends decided to then retire for the night and went home.

The next day Brian went back over to her house and day after day after day he'd talk with her family and get to know them better. Oddly enough his girlfriend's cousin ended up liking him as well, but he was taken already and didn't want to be a donkey and go behind his first-girlfriend-ever's back and go out with her cousin.

Every second of everyday Brian would spend with his girlfriend. Suddenly, after going out for almost an entire year, his lover told him she wouldn't be home and that he shouldn't stop by. From that point on Brian spent his time messing out with his friend, Solty Rei, wasting the days over and over. Still, he wondered why she was gone for so long...

One day on the way back to his house he was going to pass by his lovers house because it was right down the street where he currently lived. Before Brian could even get around the corner he stopped dead in his tracks, seeing what he most feared. She was with another girl, and they were walking together hand in hand. Curious, and slightly unbelieving, he followed them to her house and watched to see what would happen, from a distance.

A few moments went by and one thing led to another and then they started making-out, Brian then got really mad, his friend Solty had to hold him back from running over there and starting a fight. Then all of a sudden Brian saw his girlfriends cousin in the window staring at him, it scared him because he didn't realize she was there. Soon she opened the window and saw that Brian was mad about something, then his best-friend Solty told her to lean out of the window some more and look.

So she did and then really quick she went back inside the window and looked worried, after she came outside Brian asked her what was going on. She started to answer but all that came out was "......um......", then she started weeping and said sorry for not telling him earlier. Brian stood there wondering what was going on and then she told him the truth, his so called "girlfriend" had been cheating him me for the past eight months. She then started crying saying sorry and apologizing, but Brian told her it was ok, it wasn't her fault and he gave her a hug and thanked her for telling him and then sat down on a landscaping rock in the front of the house, and thats when his face and fingers went numb from the emotional shock

Solty kept trying to cheer Brian up, knowing that his anguish would soon turn to wrath, but all his efforts were futile. Soon Brian ran into the house and confronted the other girl and pimp-slapped her to the face. As he was giving her a royal beating, his girlfriend asked him why he was doing this and told him to stop.

So Brian stops and considered what she was saying. What was he doing? There seemed something wrong with such a statement. What was SHE doing?! Brian looked at her feircely and told her that he knew she was cheating on him with the other girl, and that he never wanted to see or talk to her again. Still furious, he left at that point and ran down the street, not paying attention to where he was going.

Eventually he did stop, and found himself at some dirt mounds near a constuction site. While griefing over his misfortune, he wondered why she would do such a thing to him. At the same time he realized why what she had done hurt him so much: he had fallen into true love. Moping over this fact he fell asleep without notice on one of the mounds.

When Brian woke up he went home and took a shower, skipped dinner, and just slept for a few days. Then his friend Solty litterally had to drag him out of bed and had to get him onto a skateboard again because that was the one thing that would calm Brian's mood. Knowing he never wanted to feel such pain again, Brian promised himself he would never open up to another person again.

To this day, Brian Peppers shares his life only with himself and friends. Also, he understands true love.


 * Chapter 3** - Peppers faces discimination

Throughout the years, Brian Peppers had found that his family and upbringing had a great impact on him. They have influenced his beliefs, actions, motivations and, ultimately, molded his personality. Upon greater self reflection he felt that he could accurately identify the life experiences that have produced his style of leadership, the driving factors behind his motivation, the attitudes that he possesses, and the factors that have led to his transformation as a human being.

One major force that has shaped his life is the fact that for the first eight years of his life he grew up in Spiceville. Throughout his childhood, his family and him were in the religious minority in Iran. Being in the minority, he encountered overt discrimination in and out of school. The core curriculum in all of Spiceville’s schools consisted of a class on religion, where every child must spend an hour a day studying the Koran. Pepper's parents were forced to enroll him in a specific school in Teheran that provided the opportunity to study other religions. There he felt quite isolated from the other students. He did not share the beliefs, experiences, morality, or desires of the majority. He felt that the teachers treated him differently and that the quality of education that he received was not up to par. It is for this reason that to this day, He is extremely sensitive towards the needs of those who are in the minority.

Additionally, as a result of this, his parents decided to move to California. He truly believes that by moving to this country his life took a drastic turn. If anyone were to ever ask his parents why they left Iran, they would automatically respond by stating that it was for their children. His parents, particularly his father, had always emphasized the need for education, hard work and dedication. His father’s focus was always on providing him with the opportunity for a better life. Brian saw that access to this opportunity lay in education. It is for this reason that the primary focus in his household was on education and the ability to make right choices.

Based on this, he found that to this day he is an extremely focused person. The ultimate goal is his motivation, he is rarely satisfied with keeping things at the status quo level and he always wanted to accomplish more than was thought possible. He could also be very patient and tenacious. In coming to a new country he was forced to acclimate to a new language and culture. By focusing on his education, and by having the ability to choose, he felt that he had succeeded in life. If he were to have grown up in Iran, he highly doubts that he would be the same person that he is today.


 * Chapter 4:** Brian Pepper's First True Holiday

Brian Peppers did not grow up like the other children. He was raised with a special religious upbringing, which encouraged a relationship with God rather than with his friends at school. Therefore, he was set apart from the world. He had plenty of friends at school, which worried his mother a great deal. She did not want him associating with the wrong crowd, and to her, nearly everyone at school was considered the "wrong crowd". As said before, he had a good number of friends but because of his beliefs, he was not able to attend any birthday parties or holiday events of which he was constantly invited. This led a few people to think he did not like them, but in reality, he turned down their invitations because of what he believed in. Now, this would normally be considered a noble and honorable thing - standing up for what you believe in. To Brian, though, it did not sit well. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he knew he did not truly believe what had been instilled in him since his childhood. At the age of 15, he formally renounced his faith, to his mother's tremendous dismay. She was utterly crushed by his decision, and tearfully begged on numerous occasions that he reconsider. Plagued by guilt, Brian nearly succumbed to her requests. Eventually he firmly stated that he would have no part in that religion anymore, and did his best to convince his mother she did not fail in raising him; he simply wished to walk down a different path than she.

It took Brian the better part of 2 years to feel comfortable enough to attend any holiday or party of any kind. He had been so used to never celebrating anything, that this new concept of being able to join in on the festivities was slightly unsettling to him. After a while, he began partying with his friends, engaging in underage drinking and even tried smoking; he did not like smoking though. His best friend at the time was a girl named Julianna Rose Mauriello. She and her family had essentially taken Brian in as a family member, treating him like their own. The holiday season was coming around, and Brian's birthday usually landed on Thanksgiving. The Mauriellos invited him to spend Thanksgiving with them, and he graciously accepted.

His first Thanksgiving dinner was remarkable! He had a truly splendid time, and enjoyed conversing with the family afterwards. Now, Brian has quite a keen and perceptive eye. He began to notice subtle looks aimed at him and between family members. A few people left to the kitchen, and before he knew it, the lights went out. Anthony is also a rather intelligent being, but having not grown up the same way as most other kids, he did not expect to be thrown a surprise birthday party. The thought of a party specifically for him would have never occurred to Brian.

When they came out with a cake and lit candles, the birthday-boy had the most shocked expression one could fathom. They began to sing with jolly voices and large smiles. Placing the cake in front of him, they waited for him to blow out the candles, as is the custom with birthday parties. Brian hesitated and thought back to every movie and television show he had seen that involved birthday parties. He realized he should make a wish, and blow out the candles. He wished that this would happen to him every year, and then proceeded to blow the candles out.

It was in that moment that Brian finally felt normal. He had always felt apart from his friends, but that event changed everything. It made him feel more special than any other person in the history of birthday parties. From that moment on, Brian celebrated every holiday, birthday party, and any other significant religious celebrations that he was invited to. He was changed forever, after receiving his first birthday party at the age of 17.

-Jonathan E.
 * Chapter 5**: Bryan Peppers and Yang

Bryan Peppers recollected how his life changed when he found his Yang. Well, the truth of the matter is that the above statement would be absolutely true if he had truly and completely found his Yang. In actuality Yang made effort to find him right about the same time he was discovering Yang. Yang first came to Bryan in one of his day dreams in the form of a girl. To be more accurate Bryan believes Yang has been with him all of his life in one shape and another. Looking back now, Bryan Peppers can see that Yang has been right alongside him all of his life, and ironically enough he is convinced that Yang was just as clueless about him as Bryan was about Yang.

When Bryan Peppers was a child Yang would often visit him as his pet cat and he would spend long hours admiring Yang’s soft fur, her long tail, her sometimes slit-like eyes, her sharp teeth, and just about everything that Bryan figured Yang represented. In fact Yang and Bryan Peppers had a very symbiotic and respectable relationship; Bryan Peppers would play with her for fun or pet her until her eyes rolled back into submission, and she would provide him with company. Some days he would completely lose himself to Yang and imagine that he was Yang, Bryan would chase birds or butterflies or anything that distracted him from his other priorities and he would lay on the warm carpet in front of a window so that the sliver of sunlight shone in just right and warmed his mid-day nap, and then he would wake up and wonder if Yang was off somewhere dreaming she was something else.

And then there was a squirrel who spoke to Bryan and with a flick of its tail gave him a grand, inspirational, and world moving advice without so much as a glance in his direction. But he knew the squirrel was there, some hundred feet ahead of where he sat, and he guessed that Yang knew here was there too. In the square where Bryan sat on the edge of a concrete wall there were cement paths followed by little squares of green grass with one tree placed in the center of each patch and then there was Yang scurrying around and stopping and gathering and chewing and looking like it was at peace with the universe yet somehow very antiquated sitting on the clean cut nicely edged tuft of grass with busy feet scurrying all around on their squares of concrete on each of the four sides of Yang’s little place.

Yang found itself in Bryan’s hand one day as Bryan Peppers gathered up a smooth rock to skip across a couple meters of his side of a lake well into the afternoon when the sky was beginning to turn, and in turn the lake decided that sky looking down should be just as lucky as us looking up and shone the brilliance straight upward. Bryan Peppers supposes he would still be wondering if it wasn’t the other way around if he hadn’t had found Yang and decided to give it a good spin towards the water. After all what good was Yang in his hand for more than a moment if that’s all it took to take up Yang’s smoothness and roundness and cool hard feel into my memory and thoughts. So Bryan Peppers chucked Yang back and the lake laughed which made the sky turn darker. But the lake and the sky shared their relationship on into the night tossing stars back and forth and Bryan Peppers watched them glimmer in the darkness until he couldn’t remember which side was up or down.

But what Bryan Peppers meant to recall was the first time that he realized He had actually met Yang. It was the first thing he noticed, she was everything he wasn’t. And Bryan Peppers supposes the physicality of the whole thing helped to make it rather obvious, but he really means everything. Now, Yang made him think quite a bit, not that she asked him to think or that there wasn’t any way around it, he supposes it was more of a curiosity than anything else. So there Yang was and Bryan Peppers was baffled by the meaning of it all. He did not even know why he thought there was some meaning, but it sounded good. So Bryan kept gathering these ideas and throwing them into a jar and one day the jar got all mixed up, he forgot if he fell down a flight of stairs or if he was doing some jumping jacks, but whatever the case the jar ended up on the ground in front of him broken to bits, which didn’t even occur to him at the time because his ideas were all lined up. Funny enough Yang and Bryan had left each others’ lives long before, but he bet she’d be glad to know there was a smile planted on his face the rest of that day.

Bryan Peppers sometimes wonders if he knew that Yang was there when he was barely crawling and peering around with delight for the first times in his life that it actually mattered to him. He imagines that in those purely abstract days he might have had more inclination than he had before

Bryan Peppers often forgets Yang is with him at all times, and when he does remember it’s sometimes tough to decipher how real Yang really is or how much of Yang is just a meme that had become planted in my head. But when Bryan Peppers believes in Yang he knows Yang believes in Bryan Peppers and to Bryan, discovering that is always as exciting as it was the first time.

-Julia T.
 * Chapter 6:** Brian Peppers Goes to College

“This is it!” He thought to himself, he could feel the nerves in his stomach alongside the spaghetti he just consumed. It was the dawn of summer after his high school career and Brian could only imagine what college life would be like at UC Davis. He’d try to enjoy himself at the beach and the time he spent with his friends but it wasn’t good enough, he focused completely on how much he was going to miss the smell of his mother’s cooking and the his cute new freshmen girlfriend, Domino. He realized that all that he was working for was worthless without the people he knew to enjoy it with. And suddenly, doubt fell upon him. Not so much material things, although he does miss his car, “Charlie”. Well, finally that fateful day came when he had to pack up his things and leave for college. He said his goodbyes to all his friends and close family and then it came time for him to say goodbye to his girlfriend, Domino. He gave her a phenomenal kiss and drove off to his new life in Davis. As he was driving he listen to the Shins to calm himself down, he knew that nothing would be the same and gained a self of independence. He took a detour into an In-n-Out hamburger joint and while he waited for his “double-double, animal style” cheeseburger, he rear-door mirror and said “Hello, Mr. Peppers... You are a MAN, Mr. Peppers!...Salt and Pe-“ Then a loud honked made him jump in his seat. He finally reached the campus, entered his dorm, made new friends, met new professors, and enjoyed a few parties. He has learned new things about himself such as his beliefs, and understanding his abilities. This was the place in with he finally grew up and found out just what an adult is to do with their lives. He dealt with the difficulty of a long distance relationship with family, friends, and girlfriend, Domino. College opened his eyes and his mind that there is so much more to life for him to learn and experience. His first year at UC Davis is just one step in his education about finding out who he really is.

-J. Kasper
 * Chapter 7:** Brian Peppers and the Epiphany of Fatherhood

At 10:29pm on June 7, 2007, an event occurred, the profound effect of which Brian Peppers could not begin to realize. In fact, he is still learning how much the birth of his daughter continues to alter and affect his life.

It was with great anticipation and desire that Brian awaited the birth of his daughter. He did not know the sex of the child prior to its birth and remembers to this day how excited he was to finally find out whether he would have a son or a daughter. For Brian Peppers, simply the anticipation of the sex of his child brought about a great deal of anxiety. Although of course he would love his child regardless of sex, Brian knew that there were important differences between raising a young man and a raising a young woman. When his child was finally born, he looked forward to a future full of memorable experiences with his new daughter. One such profound and memorable life altering moment, which is etched in his mind, occurred with his daughter the grocery store of all places.

Perhaps, if he had had a son, this life altering moment would not have occurred; because he had a daughter it did. Brian and his daughter Natalie were waiting in a rather disorganized line at the deli counter. She was almost four weeks old and he was just starting to take her out with him for errands. They had been waiting for about ten minutes and were the next people in line. He noticed two elderly women walk up to the counter. Shortly thereafter the clerk yelled, “Who’s next?” The two elderly women said that they were and proceed to cut in from of him and Natalie. In the past Brian would have ignored their indiscretion, kept his mouth shut and not spoken up for himself. Now, he knew that he should not allow people to take advantage of him! More importantly he realized that he was a father and this daughter would be looking to me for behavioral direction. Brian very politely went up to the woman, looked directly in their eyes, and said, “Excuse me, but I was next.”

For Brian Peppers, this event in the market was a defining moment and a life altering event. Although the event only lasted a few minutes, he realized that he was a father and always would be. His daughter would need him to teach her life-lessons and provide support. He was her father and forevermore a parent. By politely asserting himself he took what was rightfully his and modeled the type of behavior he would want his daughter to have.


 * Chapter 8 : Brian Peppers and the Olympics
 * -Enrique Vivar



Since the birth of Brian Peppers everyone in Spiceville knew that he was going to be an outstanding athlete. His dad was a 3 time Olympic athlete winning 8 gold medals in track and field, therefore Brian had high expectations. Certainly he was a track star just like his father. Brian was the heart of the 2006 U.S.A. track team and was ready to run like no other as the Olympics approached. Throughout the year he had been training to the extreme, fully dedicated.

Finally, after a 14 hour flight the Brian Peppers and the U.S.A. track team arrived in Tokyo. As soon as they landed the media was all over Brian, curious to know what was going on through his head.

He stopped for interviews and an ESPN reporter asked him, “How do you feel about tomorrow’s big race Brian?”

He responded by saying, “I am ready to break the world record in the mile tomorrow. I feel like I’m in the best shape of my life. I feel unstoppable.”

One thing about Brian Peppers, just like his father, was that he was very cocky. Although he would “walk the walk”, he seemed to be too confident.

The next day, Brian woke up going through his daily routine which was singing in the shower, eat 1 banana, and watch his father’s record breaking race as inspiration. He arrived at Tokyo Stadium at about 6 in the afternoon, just in time to prepare for the race at 7. The stadium was filled with 70 thousand excited fans, mainly all there to watch Brian run. His main goal for this race was to beat world record mile time of 3:43. The previous month before the Olympics, Brian “speedy” Peppers, as they called him, ran an impressive 3:50, proving to the world that he was capable of breaking it. Brian stood in lane 3, with the fastest runners of the world around him and the thunderous crowd supporting him all along. The gun went off, and it was Brian’s time to shine as millions across the world watched. From the start, he took the lead setting a fast pace. The pace was so fast that by the end of the first lap he already had a 100 meter lead. He crossed the first lap at a stunning 50 seconds.

The p.a. announcer was amazed as he excitedly screamed out, “Brian Peppers in first with an amazing first lap, and we could be witnessing a record breaking race!”

As Brian came across finishing his 3rd lap, he had a 300 meter lead over second place. He was on his final lap, on pace to breaking the world record. The fans were going out of control, supporting him every step he took. Finally, as he approached the final 100 meters, he gave it his all with an amazing kick.

As he crossed, the p.a. announcer in shock screamed out, “It’s a new world record! 3:30 Brian Peppers! Amazing!”

Just like his father, Brian became a superstar. He broke the record by 13 seconds, which is superb. After running the greatest race in Olympic history, he retired, passing the torch to the next generation.

//This is it!// He thought to himself. //It's finally coming true!// Many people dream of getting a house, car, love, and other things that are important to them. For Brian, it was a dog.
 * Chapter 9:** Brian Peppers's Surprise

Brian's parents thought it was a good idea to get a dog for Brian because he is at home by himself most of the time and he is twelve years old. Brian and his parents went to go find a perfect dog. Not too big because his mother was scared of big dogs. Neither too small because Brian loved to wrestle with them. Their search started off well. The first dog pound was nice and clean. They looked at different dogs and found a perfect dog, but it was already taken. Brian was not too disappointed because he knew there were other pounds to look.

After going to ten shelters, Brian got tired of looking for a perfect dog. One day, he went to a pound and found a puppy. He was excited and his parents agreed he can have the dog. The ladies, working at the shelter, gave the Peppers family the paperwork to fill. After they filled all the papers and listened to the ladies talk about the puppy, the Peppers agreed to come back tomorrow because the puppy needed one more shot. The Peppers left and Brian couldn't wait until tomorrow.

The next day, Brian and his parents came back to the shelter. Brian held the puppy in his hand and smiled. //This is it!// He thought. //It's finally coming to true!// He was was about to leave when the ladies stopped him. They told him that they couldn't have the puppy because the puppy looked unhealthy. Brian knew that wasn't it. He knew that they didn't trust him with the puppy. Tears fell down his cheeks when he let the puppy go. He got into the car and his parents took him back home.

Few weeks after that sad day, he went to his to a concert with his friend. He started to forget the incident, but he was still hurt of how the ladies treated him. When the concert was done, his friend's mother took him home. When he knocked on his door, he heard something back. //I hear barking. It might be a toy they bought for me since I was sad when the ladies took the puppy away from me.// Through the little window, he saw his mother coming. In her arms, he saw a doll. //I was right. They did buy me a doll.// He stared at the doll and noticed that it was moving. He was surprised to see it was moving. When his mother opened the door, Brian couldn't believe his eyes! It was a real puppy! Brian Peppers's dream came true.

-Suhaib A. On Brian Pepper's birthday, July 1st, when he turned 16, his father handed him the keys to his new Mercedes SLK-3300 (with 540 torque and a V8 engine). "Son, it is today that you have become a responsible man. I mean, I haven't heard any whining from you since that one Mariah Carey cd you wanted to get real bad. I give you the keys to your new car. Go ahead, take her out for a lil' spin if you'd like."
 * Chapter 10:** Brian Peppers and the Hit-&-Run

Brian, in awe, shock, amazement, and a big smile yelled out, "Oh thank you papa, I love you so much for this! Wow, my own car, awooooooooh!"

Brain Peppers snatched the keys and sped out to his new car like a rocket. He jumped in the car, turned the ignition, pulled out of the driveway, turned into the lane, and sped out at full throttle. At first it seemed as if everything was going alright. However, Brain was just going psycho, and he kept speeding up until he hit the 120 mph mark. With all this excitement in his head, Brian Peppers barely had time to realize how psychotically he was driving. He ran a red light, and sent a walking crippled person flying 20 feet into the air. "Holy Macaroni!!" screamed Brian Peppers as he saw the old man flipping downward in mid-air like a thrown rubber chicken. He knew his dad would be really disappointed if he found out his son knocked the bejesus out of an old crippled man the first day he got his car. Thinking as quick as his car was going, Brian Peppers made a quick run away in his Mercedes, and ended up running over a squirrel and two baby ducklings on the way.

Brian Peppers was too slick to get caught by authority over the wreckless driving. He drove the Mercedes home, reflecting over what a crazy time he had with his new car. This would be the first of Brian's psychotic experiences on the road with that first and special car of his

By: Ibrahim Muradian
 * Chapter 11:** Radical Dreamers

There are people who dream, people who follow their dream, and people who give up on their dream. Brian Peppers dreamt once and it was beautiful. But all that seem very far away now. Like a dream. It’s funny. That word “dream.” The nature of the very word suggests its own demise. But we believe it anyway. There was a time that he believed and that is how he knows now what it is like to not believe. Brian grew up and this is what he learned, what he finally woke up to. “Didn’t you ever notice that movies always end in happy, sappy, cliché endings?” Solty asked him once. “Of course, but I like it. People go to movies to have their dreams affirm.” Brian gaily replied. Solty looked at him dubiously, “It’s just an escape, an illusion. In real life, people’s lives fizzle out and go stale.” “I don’t know. I’d like to think that it’s not.” That was Brian three years ago. Just three years. Sometimes he can’t seem to see beyond a foggy day. Sometimes Brian believes the sunny days are just illusions, figments of that cruel thing called hope. But he does remember what it was like. That is how life is. People remember the things you want to forget and you forget the things you want to remember. Brian can’t stop mourning over the grave of his past; and his damned memories, they keep haunting him, taunting him with old wishes and old hopes. Do you remember what it was like to feel safe? Do you remember how everything moved you and filled you with a tingling sensation of happiness? Oh yes, happiness. Do you remember what it was like to fall in love? What it was like to melt into another’s flesh? Do you remember how a name, just a name, can tear you to pieces and put you back together anew? Brian is to pieces now and nothing can put him back anew. Brian shall never, never, never forgive the world for what it has done to him. He bit his lip hard to stop the tears from flowing and tried to focus on something else. He could feel the cold, damp earth beneath his arms and neck. A few tiny yellow stars drift slowly down to surface. He closed his eyes against the bitter swelling of regrets, acquiescing to the reverie of something once lost. Everything seems so quiet. He could hear a voice far away and feel a light breathing next to his face. A soft arm was under his neck. The voice became clearer. They are soft whispers, those murmurs of promises of a life forever in happiness. “We will be happy, I swear,” she murmured, “the happiest couple in this world.” “And you will love me still when I grow old and ugly?” Brian asked. “Of course, I’d love you more.” Brian chuckled at that. He wanted to run away with him, away from all of the world. But could they make it? Could they really make it? Breaking a peaceful silence, he asked, “What are we going to do when I have to leave?” “I don’t know. What do you want to do?” “I want to break up with Solty. God, our relationship is like a tortured monster that needs to be put out of its misery. I think its end was long overdue.” “Why did you stay with him for so long anyways?” “I don’t know. I think I was afraid.” “To be alone,” she stated matter-of-factly. “Yeah, something like that.” She gave a thoughtful smile. Brian always melted when he saw her smile that smile of hers. “I love you,” He blurted out and immediately realized his error as he quickly covered his mouth in embarrassment. They barely knew each other so the I love you’s always seemed so out of place; and yet they were the only appropriate words they knew for the excitement they felt. The days they spent together that summer were always in that giddy, dazzling excitement. They were like too drunks who did not know where they were going and did not care as long as it was together. Brian felt then that all my dreams had come true. It was the one thing he prayed for since boyhood. He wanted to fall in love and love came at last. When summer ended and the university resumed, Brian had to return to school, which was five hundred miles away from him. Their goodbye, nevertheless, was hopeful. They read Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet together on their last night, reciting the secret promise of their re-union. Several days after school began, Brian callously broke up with Gray and threw out our two year relationship as if it was yesterday’s news. He didn’t even feel pity, pain, or remorse. All he could see in front of him was love and the past didn't matter. He was so taken by her, so madly in love, so lost of all control. Brian took no caution because it was love, it was the thing everybody wanted, the thing that was ultimate happiness. Yet, despite their happiness, the days of fighting came. Those were the days when Brian felt the most agonizing pain of his life. The I love you’s that once bursted out of him as if overflowing from an overfilled reservoir of affection now became distressing cries of desperation. They were saying, please, please, let this be real, let this be something that lasts. If love failed what else was there for him to believe in? Oh God, please. But the heaven was silent and so was he. That was the way she hurt him. That was her weapon of choice. She would turn her body away from him, recoiling from his touch and his apologies. He turned deaf and mute. And after several attempts at begging and soothing, he would finally give up and carry his pent up rage elsewhere alone. His preferred hiding place, one that he resorted to since childhood, was the bathroom. It’s where, suddenly, he could let it all out, let his feelings burst out of their protective shell. He sat on that cold floor and leaned his head on the hard door. There tears well up and flow down his cheeks. He feels a sharp pain in his chest, tingling down all the nerves of his body as it shudders uncontrollably. Oh how he hates the world for its trick, its cheap, cheap trick! And so this was love. So this was what it was all about. They were a world torn asunder. They were the loneliest creatures to ever crawl the earth. And yet they tried to survive it all. They hugged and made up and carried on like it was something small, something insignificant and can be fixed. They clung onto their dreams with all their strength, "boat against the current." In life it seems nothing is for certain, nothing true or real. There is only faith in our dreams. There are many people who do not believe and their lives are full of fear and bitterness because they cannot feel. They cling on to logic as if the mind can solve all problems, unfurl all truths, banish all feelings. But logic too is only a figment of the imagination. Brian chose a life more complicated and more painful because he believed some dreams do come true and even if his didn't, all the struggles to obtain it would still be worth it.